,LEARNINGLAFFS.COM ,
- Humor for Educators -
Copyright 2001 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs. No Reproduction without permission.
,LEARNINGLAFFS.COM ,
- Humor for Educators -
Copyright 2001 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs. No Reproduction without permission.
ENTREPRENUER
Enough was enough. I decided that it was time to strike out on my own. I had been teaching social studies for 15 years in the system and the system was slowly killing me. I loved teaching, but I decided it was time to try something else. I took a leave of absence and I left my school. I decided that I would be an entrepreneur.
I started out with a sidewalk history cart. I found a good location downtown on Front Street - lots of foot traffic. I offered pop quizzes for two bucks apiece, chapter worksheets were a dollar, and wordfind and crossword puzzles went for seventy-five cents each. The quizzes moved pretty well, but they had to be carefully written. Folks wouldn't stand for any typos. The answer keys were where the real money was made, and I sold them for at least five dollars each. Kids seemed to really like the wordfinds and crosswords, but I had to keep my eyes on them. Those puzzles had a way of disappearing if I wasn't paying attention. Other than the occasional shoplifter, the cart was great. I was always busy and I had a lot of repeat business from customers who returned to ask questions and check their work. After a few months I had a pile of money in the bank and I decided that it was time to expand.
I bought some vending machines and I had them placed all over the city. They sold readings, editorial cartoon analysis assignments, artwork analysis, essays, and case studies - you know - higher level stuff. The machines were pure gold. They sold out in days and regularly had to be refilled and serviced. I was convinced that this higher level stuff was my path to riches, so I made another move.
I got a kiosk in an upscale suburban mall. No fact stuff here, only the higher level stuff. I sold problem-based group learning projects - high buck stuff. Critical thinking and collaboration were all the rage. I got so busy that I had to get rid of my cart on Front Street. On weekends, my kiosk was so overrun with credit card-paying customers, that I had to hire a couple of student teachers from Central State University. Customers showed up in groups, purchased their projects, and then headed off to work. Near the end of every day, they would all return and present their cases. I would grade them on a rubric that I sold for $15.99. Individual grades were another $8.99 each. I developed a series of historical simulations that really took off. I raised all my prices and my sales doubled anyway. I was riding high.
Then the mall administration informed me that they were canceling my lease. They were mad because my customers were filling up all of the tables in the food court and the groups weren't buying any food. They also told me that all the critical thinking I was nurturing in the mall was counterproductive to the mindless consumerism on which they had built their business. Just like that they kicked me out.
So I finally took the dive and got myself a real storefront - on Third Avenue near my old cart spot. I was really excited to be designing, furnishing, and stocking my very own store. But shortly after I opened, the bottom fell out of the critical thinking market. It was state testing that had poisoned the waters. Now everyone was back to facts and deep into "cultural literacy." With my heavy overhead, there was no way I would survive if I switched to selling the inexpensive, low margin, fact stuff. I knew I was finished and I filed for bankruptcy.
Now I'm back at school and I teach just the facts and the dates. The money's okay and I like being with the kids again, but I miss the challenge of running my own business. I still dig out my critical thinking stuff now and then, but no one cares for it any more. Facts are the new fad and no one can seem to get enough of them. I'm fascinated by the popularity of the big dates - dates like 1776, 1492, 1607, 1861, 1941, and 1954. Dates are hot. They're so hot, I could probably make a few bucks selling them by mail order if I tried. And I might try. Yes, I still have the dream. And who knows - some day, somehow, I might just make it as a for-profit teacher.
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