,LEARNINGLAFFS.COM ,
- Humor for Educators -
Copyright 2001 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs. No Reproduction without permission.
,LEARNINGLAFFS.COM ,
- Humor for Educators -
Copyright 2001 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs. No Reproduction without permission.
KISS A PIG
Greetings from Fuddle River Schools. It has been an exciting week in the district. Building leaders have been encouraging and challenging district students to demonstrate their devotion to learning and achievement.
Earlier this year, Principal Tom Tolfson at the elementary school promised to kiss a pig if his students read over 500 books. The students were up to the challenge. On Monday, during an assembly in the gymnasium, Tolfson kissed a pink and black two-year-old sow named Alice. The students were ecstatic. Tolfson was quoted as saying, "That wasn't so bad." Alice the pig was unavailable for comment.
Middle school principal Arlene Marlene promised that she would allow students to toss a pie in her face and make herself available at the school festival "dunk tank" if student average daily attendance improved by 10% in the third quarter of the school year. Middle school students responded to the challenge and attended school in record numbers. Some teachers had to call maintenance for additional desks when all of their students started showing up for class. At the school festival on Tuesday Marlene took a banana cream pie in the face from Missy Hopkins, and a swim in the dunk tank compliments of middle school shortstop Jason Kroser. Said Marlene, "The banana cream gave me an awful rash, but the cold dunk tank water really helped stop the itching."
High school principal Hugh Batson promised that if students would give up 10,000 hours of television, he would allow them to tar and feather him and ride him out of town on a rail. Despite some controversy over how the hours given-up would be counted and logged, students apparently avoided television like never before. Wednesday in the football stadium students cheered as Batson was stripped down to his thermals, tarred and feathered, tied to a rail, and hustled off down Front Street. As Batson and his rail were dragged past Duncan's Drug Store on the way to the city limits, the principal was heard to exclaim, "I'll - oogh - do anything - easy now - to help these kids make better decisions!"
District leaders were elated with the results. At Thursday's board meeting assistant superintendent Fran Fregley was quoted as saying, "I am very impressed with the power of self-humiliation to help students do the kind of things we all think they should be doing." Fregley is even considering allowing students to burn her at the stake next year if standardized test scores improve.
And that's it this week from Fuddle River Schools.
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