,LEARNINGLAFFS.COM ,
- Humor for Educators -
Copyright 2001 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs. No Reproduction without permission.
,LEARNINGLAFFS.COM ,
- Humor for Educators -
Copyright 2001 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs. No Reproduction without permission.
THE SCIENCE FAIR
Greetings from Fuddle River Schools. This week was our elementary school science fair. Many interesting projects and exhibits were presented. First place went to Betty Thomkins, who did a computer-assisted multivariate analysis of the causes, duration, and effects of timeouts given at school compared to timeouts given at home.
Second place was won by Shane Feingol, who developed a universal garage door opener that can operate garage doors of any brand, make, or model. Unfortunately, Shane was unable to accept his award as he was being questioned at police headquarters concerning a rash of garage burglaries in his neighborhood.
Missy Jessman won third place. She developed a synthesis of evolution and creation science, and proved that humans evolved from an apple tree in the Garden of Eden.
Other students won honorable mention for their projects. Among them was Phillip Pankpatz, who wired his VCR to his microwave oven, and was able to tape several meals. Another was Tommy Fitzhog, who had a display featuring photographs of Bernoulli's principal and assistant principal.
Other interesting entries included Roger Plinkton's exhibit of an escaped alien being. This exhibit featured a cage with a hole ripped in it. Unfortunately, the judges were unable to talk with Roger. He refused to answer any questions, stating that he feared for his life, and that government agents were closing in on him.
Another interesting entry was Crystal Waffel's exhibit of Flintstones tools and appliances - including the elephant vacuum and bird can-opener. Crystal's exhibit was dismantled after picketing by animal rights groups threatened to shut down the entire science fair. In spite of the controversy, all concerned considered the fair a great success for Fuddle River Elementary School.
And that 's it this week from Fuddle River Schools.
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