,LEARNINGLAFFS.COM ,
- Humor for Educators -
Copyright 2001 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs. No Reproduction without permission.
,LEARNINGLAFFS.COM ,
- Humor for Educators -
Copyright 2001 by John P. Wood for Learning Laffs. No Reproduction without permission.
THE WORKSHOP
Yesterday after school I attended a school-sponsored workshop. The workshop was supposed to be for continuing education, and while it did seem to continue forever, there was little education going on.
I felt sorry for the woman leading the workshop. It was her misfortune to have traveled many miles to present familiar teaching and learning methods with which we had already worked many long hours over the years to improve. As soon as she started speaking into her microphone, you could see 65 teachers scrambling for their television remotes in an effort to change the channel. We were trapped. And we sat there, buffeted by the force of her voice broadcast at full volume over a sound system seemingly designed for a fast food drive-up window.
She liked to ask "how many people" this and "how many people" that. She would ask, "How many people have ever read a book?" And we would all raise our hands and she would say something about books. A few sentences later, she would ask, "How many people have ever worked in a group?" And we would all raise our hands and she would say something about working in groups. She got pretty good participation for her first ten to twelve "how many" questions and then our arms cramped up and we got tired of it. I think she started to get the message when she asked, "How many like these 'how many' questions?" and only Alice Peterson raised her hand.
By then, teachers had begun to tune out. It was the end of the day. We were tired, and there was nothing new to learn. It became a matter of enduring for four hours. Unfortunately, many automatically shifted into their worst "bored student behavior." In front of me I could see small groups of teachers laughing and talking with each other, others were quietly reading their newspapers, and a few were even doing the newspaper crossword puzzle. A scan to my right revealed teachers grading papers, balancing checkbooks, and drawing cartoons. To my left I could see teachers leaving to go to the restroom, and others leaving to wander in the halls. Behind me, Clara Bronton was knitting, Betty Norland was working on a macramé project, Bill Melman was building birdhouses, and Curt Thorton had fired up his diesel wood chipper and was grinding tables and chairs into drifts of wood chips.
Jerry Evans was in charge of videotaping the entire workshop. Jerry, however, fell asleep at the tripod after the first hour. From then on - and for the next three hours - the video camera was focused on the bald spot on the back of Cliff Cramer's head.
The most exciting part of the workshop came during a break when someone posted the key to the newspaper crossword on the overhead projector. A near fistfight ensued about the correct answer for Twenty-two Across.
When our leader finally finished up, we gave her a standing ovation. Actually, it was more of a walking and running ovation. Fortunately, no one was injured in the crush of teachers turning in their evaluations and bolting for the doors. We had endured four long hours of boredom, and our relief that it was finally over was reflected in our overly generous evaluations. Unfortunately, because of the high ratings she received, our staff development director has signed a yearlong contract with her for more sessions.
I'm already working on an excuse to get out of the next workshop. I just hope that if I miss it, they don't make me watch the videotape.
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